When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
