as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
