Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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