If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize