hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
