This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am one with the molecules
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize