Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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