I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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