I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
