so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
