Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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