did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
