K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
