dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
