pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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