Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
