just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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