if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
