Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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