one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
