I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
