I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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