I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Porn is love you can see.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
