Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
