I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
