babies were throwing up all over the place
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
