Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
