pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize