What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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