Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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