we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
