we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
