fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
