I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
