Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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