idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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