I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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