Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
