Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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