and you said cock pushups were impossible
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
