one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
