so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
