Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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