Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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