I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
