I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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