if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
