Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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