We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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