Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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