No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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