You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
