i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
