Swine flu. Run for my life!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Be still, my beating vagina.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
