Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We were destined to go to rehab together
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
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