Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
