It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
