Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
