Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
