No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
