is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
