apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
