sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
